My wife and I had passed through one of those love-makings where there is a shift from a pair of bodies copulating to a pair of subtle bodies, fused at the base of the spine. When this happens, the issue of ejaculation-or-non-ejaculation is simply bypassed, forgotten, by both of us. Ejaculation doesn’t happen because it’s no longer important. The Kundalini energy is felt very powerfully. When we finally fall asleep, Kundalini stays on during the night as a physical light that keeps us keenly aware of each other even in deep dreamless sleep. And then, near morning, this same weird dream:
Her phone rings. A man wants her. She’s gone. That’s it. There’s some peripheral wandering around by me, looking for her, which isn’t important. What’s important is the fact that someone I love and am aware of so utterly could suddenly become so absent, so unlocate-able, so unfind-able. The sense of loss is too deep to be a nightmare, and seems on the point of tipping over into joy.