Saturday, January 28, 2017

When Kundalini Isn't Wanted

I receive many inquiries asking how to activate Kundalini. Before answering I always ask the person why he or she wants to. More than likely, the answer is: because… followed a pause and much hemming and hawing. Which shows me that little serious reflection has been given the matter. As a follow up, I ask the person what prompted his/her interest. Often I’m told the person was inspired by my, or by some other writers’, Kundalini books. Gratifying as that might be if the book is one of mine, the reader’s admission makes me realize that I am now, in some sense, responsible for what happens.

Stepping back to analyze the situation objectively, I understand how writing books on Kundalini can appear to typecast writers as cheerleaders for the phenomenon — without any of us wanting or attempting to be one. That’s not why I write about the kundalini, nor is it the way I view my role, which is more educator than evangelist.

To be a cheerleader for something, you must want to elevate it above other rivals. Kundalini is not competing with anything; it is the Life Force.

Nevertheless, I’m probably guilty of cheerleading to some degree; just because kundalini and its physical power has played such an important role in my life. Even after 40 years of living with it…something new happens every day.

To feel the Life Force active inside yourself is humbling and, at the same time, hard to keep still about.

I kept still for many years, but finally after more than 30 years of living with an active kundalini, I felt it was time to add my experiences to the expanding canon of kundalini research literature.

As time goes on, however, and I encounter an increasing number of heartbreaking stories like the following comment submitted to this Kundalini Consortium blog in January 2017, the need to educate, if not to warn, becomes more urgent as you will see after reading, or listening to, the following comment from someone who definitely did not ask for or want kundalini: 
"Why does any of this have to happen? Why can't this kundalini bull shit just bother the people that seek it, why cant they have it??! Their the ones that want it. I don't want this. I hate this!!!! I just want to be normal, I just want to go back. I'm just so tired and freaked out all the time. It's like I take tiny doses of acid every day. I can feel my brain has physically changed, I can feel it, I can feel everything… :("
The comment ends with an emoticon frowning face, hardly adequate in assuaging the pain — the desperation. Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon. The following is all I could muster as a reply, not very comforting, but I believe it’s better to be honest and factual than to make empty promises:
"Kundalini is an evolutionary driver; in and of itself, it is not malevolent. Trying to stop, or mitigate it, is not possible. It appears that some spontaneous cases like yours are difficult to bear in one way or another. There is no why or wherefore. Upon activation, Kundalini takes inventory of the body and nervous system, relays this information back to the brain, then begins sending healing energy to the various parts of the body that need it. Its purpose is to jump start your evolution during a single lifetime. There is a regulating mechanism that normally adjusts the energy so that only the right amount is released. Unfortunately in spontaneous cases, this mechanism sometimes releases more energy than the person can support."
Kundalini accounts vary greatly, not only because triggers and effects vary greatly, but also because adepts and newcomers alike do not use the same terminology. There is no authoritative kundalini lexicon or dictionary.

Not everyone agrees on what triggers kundalini, what its effects are, or how to live with it. What is happening inside a given individual is not only difficult to communicate; interpretation is left to the listener’s ability to extract the details correctly and to confirm that the speaker’s terminology is understood. So I often wonder: Am I interpreting correctly what he/she is telling me? And that’s why I believe in keeping the terminology simple, free from doctrinal or scriptural influences.

However, blaming kundalini is senseless; it’s like blaming evolution for enabling us to walk on two legs instead of crawling on our bellies. Kundalini isn’t the culprit. It’s an evolutionary force that’s always present, whether in a dormant or an active mode. In and of itself it’s not malevolent; it’s that the intensity or the dose of energy that certain people have to support is just too much to bear, especially in spontaneous cases.

So what can you do if kundalini should ignite spontaneously? Not much. In fact, the only thing I came up with was something not to do, and that is: it would be useless to see a doctor. Perhaps, medical science will accept, understand, and even be able to treat kundalini symptoms some day, but at the time of my activation, all I was able to do was surrender. Fortunately, in my case, it was the right thing to do.

It May Be Better to "Go It Alone" Than To Rely On Dubious Advice

Sure, there are times when I wish I could lead a “normal” life instead of being a guinea pig for esoteric science. But that’s not possible, not for me or for any person in whom kundalini is active. Problem is: some suffer more that others, which, in our American sense of fair play, does not seem fair at all.

Here’s a portion of a Facebook exchange, it’s not easy reading:
LA: Excuse meI am very sorryBut pleaseDo you know some healer who can save me from death?My kundalini has carried me close to death.
JJ: I had to go through a lot, ended up doing it on my own. It was harrowing, but turned out okay in the end.
LA: My GodThis is brutalNo medicine helped you?
JJ: I don't know any way other than doing it on your own. I can only comment on my own experience, documented in my books. Whether your experience relates to mine in any way is hard to tell.
LA: No medicine stops this?
JJ: I used no medication myself. Each situation is different; it depends on what's happening inside.
LA: EnergyPressureBrutal pressure.Also, I had a very traumatic life.
JJ: Before Kundalini, you mean?
LA: YesIt was violent.
JJ: In what way?
LA: That there is nothing i can doTo heal my traumasViolence at homeMy mother is schizophrenicI was mistreated since i was a babyBut I cleaned a lot of painI don’t understand this.
JJ: For me, too, it's active 24 hours a day. I feel it working as I type. Osho says: “Kundalini is not felt because it is rising; kundalini is only felt if you do not have a very clear passage. If the passage is completely clear-cut, then the energy flows, but you cannot feel it. You feel it when there is something there that resists the flow. If the energy flows upward and you have blocks in the passage, only then do you feel it. So the person who feels more kundalini is really blocked: there are many blocks in the passage, so the kundalini cannot flow.”
LA: Thank you so muchIt is a mystery to me why this came so, so strong.
JJ: There are certain pathways (channels unknown to medical science) in the body. If the energy goes up the wrong channel or becomes blocked, it wreaks havoc. 1) I don’t know if this is what happened in your case. 2) I don't know how to redirect it.
LA: Yes, me neither.And if it awakened spontaneously, why would it go through the wrong channel?
JJ: The spontaneous awakenings seem to be less regulated. In my experience, the meditation brought the energy up the correct channel into the brain and dosed just the right amounts to parts of the body.
Yet another traumatic experience. Of course, it bothers me to not be able to help. But I have not met anyone who can. Unfair as it might appear, it falls on the individual to wait it out: that’s all you can do. Because It is doing you. There is no turning the clock back.

Kundalini is what it is — the energy behind the evolutionary impulse which seeks to improve yours as well as my Being. Would your purpose in writing books about evolution be to cheer for evolution or would you write to clarify how it works? I write about Kundalini not to cheer, but to educate and communicate the surprise and wonder it provoked when it awakened: What triggered it, its effects, what it did for/to me, how I worked to integrate it into my life, and how I live with it.

One thing I can do is: Not glorify or embellish kundalini, neither its purpose nor the challenges in awakening and/or living with it.

One thing you should do is: don’t pay someone who claims to be able to help you redirect kundalini energy without first checking references! If, by any chance you know of someone who CAN clear and/or redirect the energy, let me know and I’ll do my best to get the word out.