Thursday, September 28, 2023

From Self-Indulgence to Self-Realization

Superficially, it might appear that Nearer To Me, My Love does not fit in with the other titles Life Force Books has published. That is not the case. I’m going to read a letter from one of my readers. You’ll understand what I’m talking about when you hear what he has to say.

Hi JJ Semple,

Just bought your book on seminal retention and higher consciousness. I am struggling to save the seed as you instructed as in my dreams I have sex and I wake up with wet sheets sometimes a little fluid sometimes a lot, sometimes semen. Please instruct me. What should I do? Should I meditate more? Is it my diet okay? Is it how I am sleeping? I masturbated to porn for almost 10 years before.



Tom’s letter tells us two things. Tom is both an addict and a seeker. Nothing new there. Lots of people are. There are lots of Toms out there, individuals who are both seekers and addicts. Both can be true.

I don’t claim to be able to straighten out people’s lives; I’m a writer with a lot of life experience. My books are riddled with both the mistakes I’ve made and the insights I’ve had, the latter largely due to Kundalini. What I can do is explain how I’ve dealt with urges that might have morphed into addictions, in some cases, and did in others. If that makes me a credible authority, it’s entirely due to Kundalini and my life journey as a seeker.

Tom’s letter highlights the struggle between two urges, both of which concern the role of sexuality in daily life. I receive letters and emails like this all the time. In many ways, I find them more compelling than any fifty claims of enlightenment I’ve heard at kundalini gatherings. And yet when you choose to write or publish books about the struggle, they call it erotica. Well, I’m starting a new genre: thoughtful erotica. You probably know that preaching is not the solution these letter writers are looking for.

It’s interesting that in examining the lives of persons like Tom and myself, the addiction element is always way more advanced than the seeker element. It seems the former must, by definition, give birth to the latter— the profane to the sacred, self-indulgence to self-realization. Self-indulgence has a head start. Often a headstart so enormous that it’s impossible to catch up. For those who do catch up, i’ts still a struggle .

Addictions don’t happen in a vacuum. They are to a degree the result of individual choices. I’m not saying that there are no facilitators or enablers, for instance, the pharmaceutical companies and the doctors who helped foist the Fentanyl scourge on a largely unsuspecting public.

“To break an addiction, we need a technique that doesn’t rely on the voice in the back of the head, the conscience as some call it. But, you say, that’s impossible because the sexual addict is unable to obey any moral imperative. Is there a treatment the addict can self-administer? And, if there is, would he choose it?

“The harder he works to satisfy the urges that rouse him, the longer he continues to evade admitting his problem, the less he’ll be looking for treatment. But if he gets to the point of admitting and wants to take control of his own destiny, to avoid entering the system and its enforced treatment programs that include: therapy, medication, prison, sterilization, and castration, there is sublimation. A process whose side effects are wholly positive and whose cost in dollars is zero.”

Overcoming Addiction” JJ Semple - The Kundalini Consortium - November 11, 2013

In modern society, it’s easy to indulge one’s self. The lure of porn on the internet is easy to succumb to, easy to wile away the hours doing nothing but—.

We begin to view temptations not as what they are, temptations, but as fun we should not be deprived of. Pleasures we should not be denied. I’m not talking about “Thou shall nots.” This is not Bible study or a faith-based religious diatribe. I’m not asking you to believe in something. You must challenge everything you see, hear, or feel.

I know. You’ve heard it all before. Why bother, you ask? Leave me alone. Let me indulge. It’s a free country.

 And that’s okay for 80%  of the population: the majority who are not interested in self-realization, don’t understand it, and wouldn’t try if they did.

 And yet I persist because these things are not trivial. Suicide may be illegal but there are many ways to kill oneself that are not illegal. They’re the things that contribute to lung cancer, emphysema, liver disease, heart failure, stroke, and quite possibly dementia. Here’s what Gopi Krishna had to say.

“At the present time, allowing for different constitutions and different types of men, also different degrees of vigor, we can say, with the ancient masters also, that perhaps twice a week to once in two weeks would be a safe measure for indulgence in the sexual act. This is of absolute importance for those who would like to awaken the Serpent Power. Their proneness to sex desire must be under stern control. The least weakness, the least tendency to erotic desire, the least breach of discipline can be attended by gravest danger.”

Kundalini: The Evolutionary Energy in Man” - Gopi Krishna

 Many books have been written about kundalini; we know how it operates in theory; we just can’t prove it’s actually happening.

I’ve documented my kundalini experience in six books, but only one account I’ve come across matches mine in so far as the physiological symptoms I felt after ejaculation, and that is Gopi Krishna’s, and here it is:

“On one occasion, after months of abstention, I prematurely had a contact with my wife. The next moment, because the energy did not come up to feed the brain, and I was in an expanded state of consciousness, I seemed to sink into a pit of horror and terror, so much so that I thought that if nothing happened to me to save me from this terrible situation, I would die. The same thing happens to the insane. Uncontrolled sex, overindulgence in sex makes us more prone to hysteria and neurosis and psychosis.”

Kundalini: The Evolutionary Energy in Man” - Gopi Krishna

What does Kundalini have to do with erotica? Near to You, My Love, a book I recently published by author Cliff Terrell—a book that describes in detail the tribulations of a regular guy as he searches for ways to control his sexual urges by practicing energy cultivation techniques.

In talking openly and frankly about sex, it got labeled erotica. Obviously, there are erotic moments in the book. How else can we treat this subject?

Near to You, My Love is a pilgrimage—one man’s search for self-realization, his struggle to overcome his addiction. Without realizing it, Terrell’s protagonist becomes a prisoner of his libido. How can someone so under the thrall of sex, a person with self-realization proclivities reconcile these two seemingly irreconcilable tendencies?

 Near to You, My Love is a Bildungsroman, defined as the “class of novel that depicts and explores the manner in which the protagonist develops morally and psychologically” as well as, in this case, sexually. We watch him evolve from a “sex addict” into a discerning, disciplined professional as he faces an array of personal challenges at the same time his country struggles with war, civil rights, and the sexual revolution during the turbulent 1960s.

One spoiler from author  Cliff Terrell: “I dreamed up a mind, a body, and a soul, rolled them up together into a character I call Max Mazur. An individual who embodies the middle of the last century. If you’re squeamish about sex you might want to  avoid Near to You, My Love.”

 Max does not find God. Near to You, My Love is not a morality tale. Max is not a surrogate for some faith-based creed; he’s a logical and rational skeptic who undergoes an awakening that leaves him striving to be more than the hand biology dealt him.

Who should buy this book?

A person with an addiction. Someone who knows someone.  Someone who’s worked in TV.  Someone with an affinity for the 1960s.  Someone who likes good storytelling and good writing.

Thursday, December 1, 2022

The Journey and the Destination: Part 02

The Journey/Destination discussion and the ways they are intertwined are worth taking a fresh look at. The first iteration was published on Sunday, March 10, 2013: The Journey or the Destination: Part o1.

Let’s reexamine the two notions, starting with the destination. What exactly is the destination? A kundalini awakening, you say. Okay… This blog is full of discussions on the effects — beneficial and harmful — that kundalini confers on those who attempt to cultivate it whether they succeed or not. Yes, I include harmful, in the sense of unwanted, painful, and stultifying experiences do happen on occasion — before, during, and after kundalini arousal.

Recently, seekers I’ve talked with tell me they believe kundalini will somehow usher them into a state of being that makes their inadequacies, anxieties, and dependencies disappear. Before I reveal the term they apply to this state, let me try to describe its qualities.

It's a state that insulates and protects, a state in which the seeker connects with the energy continuum whereby he or she receives all-encompassing grace, expanded consciousness, and limitless ability.

What follows, how the individual lives with it, once awakened, is not clear. Suffice it to say, that boiled down to basics it resembles a yearning to escape life’s toils and torments. Boiled down even further into one word, it’s exceedingly suggestive of the term enlightenment.

Don’t go all to pieces; I get it. You don’t like my definition, but we’re living in the real world where there’s very little escape. Instead, read Halfway Up the Mountain: The Error of Premature Claims to Enlightenment. Its title alone should be enough to convince you there’s not a lot of proof, much less an objective process, by which it’s possible to determine whether someone is or isn’t enlightened. If you get into the text, it just may help keep your expectations realistic, your feet on the ground.

Remember, Gopi Krishna searched for an enlightened being for a long time in India, the motherlode of spiritual endeavor and experience. He never found one. Even those who others claimed were “enlightened” refused the title, saying they knew nothing — much less nothing they might pass along to others. The best they could do was to tell their story and insist that it was unique to them, adding that each individual must find out for him/herself.

So what was my destination? Once kundalini awakened, where did I land in the energy continuum? Had I taken a great leap forward in terms of grace, consciousness, and ability?

First, let me describe what it took for me to activate kundalini, and to my complete and utter lack of knowledge with what had happened when I did, and how I learned to deal with it. Because, right off the bat, it started working on me. Where had my journey started? Where was I now, after this so-called awakening?

I begin with meditation at age 28. But that wasn’t the real beginning. I’m convinced it all  began when I was born. Some people, like me and Margaret Dempsey, are just born with the idea of a quest in the form of a journey they must take at some point in their lives.

Anyway, after a year of mediation, I went to France where I continued to meditate and live the expatriate life with all its frivolities and excesses. After a time, I began to experience sensations in my body that I knew were connected to my meditation practice, and it was taking me somewhere. There was a certain amount of physical suffering; I could no longer function in a populated surroundings; I needed to drop everything and concentrate on the meditation. I had no access to books on kundalini, even if I’d heard the term, which I hadn’t. I retired to a small village in the south, very remote, living a kind of gnostic lifestyle. No telephones, no Internet, no TV or movies. A basically analog world: Practice, Read, Walk, Eat, Sleep. People did that then — the ascetic hermit trip, like the Buddhist and Taoist monks who went to the mountains, almost impossible to do today.

I gave up my work as a gainfully employed film editor, my social life, my habits, the woman I lived with and loved. I stayed in the house, meditating and reading. For exercise I walked. I ate sparingly.

Up to that point, the journey had been one of abstinence: learning to do without: no alcohol, drugs, or sex. I found out later that sexual energy is used by the kundalini mechanism to awaken it by a process called sublimation, and that’s why I began to feel weak as the process unfolded, more and more sexual energy was diverted to the brain. Read about my experience in detail, the before, the during, the aftermath in Deciphering the Golden Flower One Step at a Time.

Like Gopi Krishna, I’d did it alone, making discoveries as the process advanced; I became my own best detective working in uncharted waters, writing everything down in a journal for future use. Up to then, I was doing the doing; once kundalini awakened, it began doing me. I had no control over it. It started to reengineer my body and has continued to do so over the last 50 years. There were insights into human physiology and a gradual extension of awareness.

During the Journey, I learned:

  • To live by myself,
  • I didn’t have to try to make others like me; in other words: I became comfortable just being myself,
  • To write clearly about metaphysics as previously unknown aspects of human physiology became active in my body and I could watch and learn from them,
  • Not feel I was missing something, that others were having more fun than I was
  • To live without addictions,
  • Metaphysical exploration is not escape.

After reaching the Destination and living with an active kundalini for over 50 years, albeit, without prior knowledge of or familiarity with kundalini, I’ve observed the following about this transformative energy; it:

  • Triggers autonomic self-healing capable of correcting neural defects,
  • Rejuvenate the body and retard the aging process,
  • Reverses self-destructive and addictive behavior,
  • Heighten and enhance consciousness to effect a release from karmic bondage,All violence is self-hate.

I became aware of the energy continuum and my connection to all matter. Because I’d witnessed energy fields outside the body, I reasoned that we are part of the energy continuum, and therefore, death is only a different state of being.

I don’t belong to a church or follow a religion. I question everything I see, hear, feel, smell, or taste. I still made mistakes, sometimes the same old ones. I’ve continued doing what I did before kundalini, namely yoga and meditation although they really do me. I learned how the ego operates. Am I always able to foil its machinations? No! I’ve found that self-remembering complements kundalini. I watch what I eat and drink; I don’t use drugs.

Could any other means have removed the physiological blockages I’ve had to overcome? I doubt it. Have I acquired extraordinary powers, magical insights, or clairvoyance? Did I start reliving past lives? No, but I have experienced energy states that lead me to believe that reincarnation is a natural part of the cycle of existence.

And you know what, it’s no big deal because if there were millions of enlightened individuals scattered around the world, we might not be in the fix we’re in. Then again, we might be. There are no tales of enlightened beings banning together to address the world’s problems. That’s because those beings tend to renounce the world and everything associated with it.

I have not renounced the world. I’ve answered a kind of calling: to write a book, a novel that frames the Journey and the Destination as a protracted, yet positive process. It’s a novel that doesn’t degrade women, a witness to the folly of youth and the gradual arousal of self-awareness: Tales of the Tinkertoy.

Sunday, October 30, 2022


While writing Tales Of The Tinkertoy, I paid short shrift to political correctness and presentism, defined by Webster as An attitude toward the past dominated by present-day attitudes and experiences or, as pundit Bill Maher puts it, Judging everyone in the past by the standards of the present. I found it difficult to filter my experience through a set of informal guidelines that smother creativity and distort reality. Better to rely on the good judgment of readers to understand things were different back then.

Tales Of The Tinkertoy tells it like it was. It’s a story set in its own time—the 1960s. If nothing else, it serves as a historical reference, allowing readers to compare the present to the not-so-long-ago past and to appreciate the ways we’ve progressed and the ways we haven’t.

It's in this context that we meet Gus Mazur, a young man who’s making the same mistakes you and I made when we were twenty-something. It’s the sexual revolution, a time when the uptight standards of the 1950s were turned upside down. Gus deludes himself into believing sex with liberated women will ease his frustrations about the compromises he’s forced to make at work.

Ambitious, Gus has the brains to rise to the top of network television. Yet, as the only non-white producer at WBN, he’s ambivalent about an industry that values money over narrative, politics over truth. He chafes at being obliged to run civil rights and Vietnam stories that hide the truth from the American people. But the money is good and there aren’t that many opportunities “for someone like him.”

He tries everything short of a sex change in a frantic search for love. One woman is determined to set him straight. She gets her chance after Gus is waylaid in Chicago during the 1968 Democratic Convention helping him piece his life back together.

I might write something stupid like, Don’t read Tales of the Tinkertoy if you’re looking for spiritual guidance or tips on meditation—as if I didn’t want you to make the journey, and make no mistake, kundalini is a journey. And Tales of the Tinkertoy is a chronicle of that journy.

Whether you relate to nonfictional or fictional forms, check out the six books I wrote on activating and living with kundalini.

 Tales of the Tinkertoy is different; it's a case study in gradual awareness. When you finish Tales of the Tinkertoy, you can always dig into my six books full of useful information about kundalini.

Right now, however, here’s an opportunity to follow a young man as he moves from the profane to the sacred, experimenting. The answers are not always in plain sight; he learns to read between the lines. He backslides. His awakening hangs by a thread: will he find the Way? Will he take the path untrodden or will he remain tied to a life of materialism? Will he follow the breadcrumbs as the path widens?

I’ve been asked if it’s a kundalini book. I always reply it’s a kundalini inspired book.

 eBook now available on pre-order at Amazon. Print version to follow.

Tuesday, June 7, 2022

Kundalini Symposium - 19 June 2022

What is Kundalini?
You have within you a latent energy waiting to transform your life known as Kundalini. This legendary power is believed to catalyze spiritual evolution. For centuries, the secrets of kundalini have been guarded by masters and buried in esoteric texts around the globe. Many people teach kundalini yoga, but few have actually experienced a kundalini awakening.

Initiation into the Mystic Path
International Kundalini Symposium brings together some of today’s most prominent voices in the small pool of kundalini-awakened individuals to demystify this mysterious phenomenon. From personal accounts and yogic practices, to research and historical perspective, this compelling panel of speakers will weave together both the mystical and practical perspectives on the rise of kundalini energy to transform our lives and humanity.

Up to now self-styled holy men and gurus have told us Kundalini was an esoteric process for raising consciousness. They’ve told us they could instruct novices and experts alike — as long as they were willing to pay. The problem is that classifying Kundalini as a means to “spiritual enlightenment” limits its benefits to a realm many people have neither the time nor the inclination to explore. What’s more, many people are put off by terms like “higher consciousness” and “enlightenment.” On the other hand, if they knew that Kundalini Meditation had therapeutic health benefits, they’d be eager to learn about it.

Says JJ Semple, “My students tell me, ‘Don’t give me something to believe in; give me something to DO! I want techniques for self-healing. I also want to awaken, to become enlightened.’” I tell them that, even with an aroused kundalini, awakening is a gradual process: “The ultimate aim of meditation is to become more and more conscious. Enlightenment, therefore, is becoming fully conscious, and I’ve never met anyone who’s accomplished that overnight.”

Perhaps, you don’t think there’s such a thing as “The Life Force.” You’d be mistaken. Our books on kundalini and energy cultivation techniques cover a variety of topics ranging from kundalini meditation to sexual alchemy; they feature accounts of  energy activation that can only be understood as the stirring of a life force energy. There is no other explanation.

All speaker and artist proceeds of this event will go to Operation Underground Railroad (OUR), a non-profit organization that rescues kids from the sex slave trade.

Monday, May 23, 2022

Meet Duncan Carroll, Kundalini Filmmaker

"After a long search I came across the autobiography of a man named JJ Semple, who detailed his kundalini awakening after following the method outlined in a little-known Taoist text called The Secret of the Golden Flower. JJ's account was refreshingly non-mystical. In fact, he seemed like the only person on Earth who'd had a spiritual experience and managed to keep their heads on straight.

"It was after meeting JJ that I decided to make a film about kundalini and the meditation he used to activate this life force energy, knowing, al the while, that the topic would be considered controversial."

This was the manifesto that followed my 2012 meeting with Duncan Carroll. His sincerity, and yet his insistence that kundalini be approached scientifically, convinced me he was the perfect person to handle the challenge of filming the effects of what is commonly referred to as a "kundalini awakening."

Listen to Duncan sum up the challenge in his own words.

The project needed an engineer, not a pandit or a sage—a person searching for truth, not followers. That's Duncan, a graduate of Carnegie-Mellon and an established software engineer, whose metaphysical experiences date back to childhood.

To this end he created a fundraising project Super Meditate Me that's already secured$145K in its drive to reach $500K.

If you're a person who believes there's more to life on Earth, that a higher consciousness rules  our universe and kundalini is a pathway to evolutionary progress, what Gopi Krishna called: the 'evolutionary impulse,' please consider donating to the project.

For more about JJ Semple's experience and work.

Sunday, April 3, 2022

Kundalini Pain and Headache

I recently had a consultation with JJ Semple and got invited to write about my kundalini process for this blog. First of all, I want to express my gratitude for this invitation.

I am not an experienced BFM practitioner and the even less familiar with any structured method of kundalini awakening.

Yet, my hope is that the questions, challenges, and obstacles that I experience in my personal process might  relate to others, so that we can  share practical research on the obstacles and challenges we encounter on our various paths.

A few words about myself: I am female, 35, living close to Berlin, Germany, in natural suuroundings. I am an author and bodyworker, focusing my research on embodiment, sexuality, health, mysticism and collective traumahealing.

Ilan Stephani

I had come across books about kundalini years ago, but I did not pay attention to this phenomenon until I experienced a series of violent, unexpected kundalini sensations.

Now, finally, I am focusing on a safe and sustainable approach to awakening kundalini.

The first topic I want to explore is the pain in the spine caused by kundalini activity, especially pain in the most upper part of the spine, around the skull joint.

All of my unexpected kundalini shocks had this one thing in common: a sharp pain in and around my skull joint, accompanied by headaches and contractions in my jaw.

From the first time onward, I was aware that this part of my body ached during kundalini activity because it was chronically tense and contracted. So far, I have not been able to release it in a methodical and sustainable way before experiencing another crisis.

When I checked with JJ Semple on this, he mentioned a contemporary dentist whose treatment for those blockages, uses Cone Beam tomography and a special oral device to reconfigure the airway chambers in the neck, skull, mouth, jaw, and head correctly.

JJ Semple mentioned that this treatment also resolves deep-seated unconscious breathing issues. Overall health is restored and crucial nerves and energies are able to circulate through the upper spine more easily, without chronic stress, friction, or pain.

While discussing this information with JJ Semple, I was reminded of a German method that I had studied years ago—CANTIENICA®.

As you can see on their website, the method does not address kundalini, it focuses on pelvic floor training, posture, effortless running, etc. Nevertheless, it's a process that might help me with kundalini.

I have only studied the pelvic floor module and have not practiced it in quite a while. Yet, in a sense, I "embody" its basic principles so I am curious about how it might affect kundalini related issues.

The method reactivates and trains the inner layer of muscles in the body, the so-called autochthonous muscles that are normally function in the background beyond our consciousness and, therefore, do not get used in our cultural postures and habits. So, once again, as is the case of kundlaini, we are unaware of the dormant resources in our beings. And if the rise in breathing-related conditions such as, COPD, asthma, infections like influenza, the deviated septum, pneumonia and tuberculosis, anatomical irregularities like malocclusion, sinus, allergies, and even lung cancer are any indication, it's getting worse all th time.

It is as if we've been asleep and have not begun to wake up.

"Every joint and every bone is meant to have its place and have space. Your body can and even wants to provide space for every joint and bone, there does not need to be any friction or contraction." These are typical CANTIENICA® guidelines.

Since Benita Cantieni, the founder, cured her skoliosis with this work, it is used widely for recovery, dealing with back pain, knee pain, etc.

I managed to find some illustrations for this bodywork, the lengthening of the spine and the engagement of the autochthonous muscles here (sorry, text only in German). You can clearly see how the vision of a totally straight spine etc differs from our cultural norm of internal collapse.

With JJ Semple's hint in mind, I re-opened my books and looked for parallels to the challenges of preparing the nervous system on a more physiological level, the down to earth space that nerve channels utilize while the body is experiencing kundalini activity.

Indeed, I found a chapter in a German book where the CANTIENICA® founder describes how she sensed and intentionally moved one of the key bones of the skull (Os Sphenoidale).

She has developped a module for moving the muscles and structures around the face and skull, but as far as I could tell, this faceforming module focuses on creating a younger face and removing wrinkles.

It does not work directly with the cerebral nerves in "creating more space for every fibre, no matter where."

However, the founder´s writing about her discovery with the Os Sphenoidale is what encouraged me to transfer some principles of the method in order to focus more precisely on all those structures around my skull joint.

I will describe briefly what my practice looks like. However, I have clearly benefited from my past studies in the pelvic floor module of the method, as I am already familiar with the basic postures and inner pulsing of the autochthonous muscles.

There is a lot of instruction available for free on the website and the internet.

Here are some free basic video instructions, and I think there is more out there:

You might also find something in this workout list.* *

*Of course there is zero business connection between me and this method, I'm just sharing my research.

**I also ask myself if this method could help in terms of bodily symmetry and in releasing other pain centers in the body. For sure, this is only a thesis at the moment and requires much more research and testing.

So, before I dive into diaphragmatic breathing itself, my current "warmup practice" looks like this:

I sit down and look at the details of an anatomical model of a skull, trying to embody more of its amazing complexity and learning to sense it inside. I put special focus on the upper vertebrae and the anatomy of the cerebral nerves and blood vessels running through the basic opening of the skull.

POV: Human Skull from bottom

I then align my body with the lengthened spine, opening the joints along the spine by pulsing with the autochthonous muscles fibres (typical CANTIENICA® stuff as presented in the links above) and engage from there with the bones and structures of my skull joint.

I imagine different lines through my skull on the base level of my brain, mostly diagonal ones - and open the space in between in rhythmical pulses. I transfer the method´s principle of pulsing with inner muscles to pulsing with nerve fibres, as well, and simply stretch the length of internal lines in a rhythmical manner.

Of course, there are infinite possibilities for lines in this complexity, i.e., from my front teeth to the back of my mouth, etc. So I make some up to see how it feels.

To some extent, this is "faking it until I am making it," but I do sense that my body gets more familiar with this practice and becomes capable of moving these structures.

I also notice that my body calls me to focus on other areas around my head, i.e., the bones of my paranasal sinuses and eyes. This is especially fascinating because it causes a direct release in my breathing patterns that I was not even aware of—the fact that my breath was blocked before.

Due to this practice, my breathing now flows easier and with less noise. I also sense that I am breathing more efficiently, not needing the same amount of air for the same amount of energy. And it feels incredibly good and right in my paranasal sinuses, jaw and skull joint. I often fall into waves of release with yawning, tears and trembling.

It excites me because diaphragmatic deep breathing is such a strong parallel to the topic that the contemporary dentist focuses on. I will keep practicing and experimenting to see how it develops.

Of course, there is an infinite amount of new questions arising from this.

Could working on one's own come close to what the dentist is able to do in a body, actually changing the configuration of the breathing chamber? I have no clue.

Will this practice reduce the pain I experience during future kundalini activity? I do not know.

Could this body of work help others? I do not know either.

However, it does help me at the moment and it encourages me to keep going. If anything  resonates for you, I would love to stay in touch by exchanging research on this platform.

Thursday, October 14, 2021

Remove the Shadow and Find Your True Self

"I have a tendency to sabotage relationships; I have a tendency to sabotage everything. Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of being afraid. Useless, good-for-nothing thoughts."

~ Michael Buble

It is a great pleasure to be writing again for The Kundalini Consortium blog. I would like to thank JJ Semple for giving me the opportunity once more to share my story with the readers of this blog. Various things happened between the time I last wrote for this blog and today. I got divorced and that led to a mental breakdown. I am currently overcoming those obstacles and am happy to report that the worst is behind me.

Relationships, unfortunately, become a vestige from the past sometimes, and one awakens to find that the relationship they are in is not right for them. This happened to me. Having had an awakening allowed me to see this. To be able to remove oneself from that situation, however, is not easy. We still go through the same cycles of trauma and recovery, to be able to cope with the event, and it is not always under our control. I was fortunate enough to have the Kundalini energy guide me through rough waters and came out at the other side stronger. It involved “going with the flow,” and allowing the self to discard the old trappings, comfort zones and attachments that act as an impediment to future growth. Progress requires a reset, some personal assessment, and a genuine attempt to change by discarding psychic layers that no longer served my best interests.

My divorce offered me a great opportunity to find myself in a different period of my life, like when I was single. The last time I was single was in 1997 at the age of 23. I found myself in that same situation again in the early part of 2018, but now with a lot of baggage, learned habits that needed unlearning, and a chance to live once again a simpler, pared down existence to find out how much transformation the energy had brought about into my life over the last 12 years since my awakening began in 2006. It was a wild roller coaster, but I was helped immensely by the kundalini energy and its promptings, which led to some beneficial changes as I type this on a sunny day in the fall of 2021.

As I have mentioned before in previous blog posts, the awakening kundalini energy entails a lot of upheaval, chaos, and can bring about serious mental trauma. No matter how well prepared you are through previous practices, nothing really prepares you for the mayhem that follows. It is like my mind and past events turned against me as I coped with a constant barrage of sensations, thoughts, emotions that were being churned up by a snake moving constantly up my spine. It was like Iwas learning to drive a car, and at the same time, I had to learn basic vehicle maintenance, while parts started to break down or ceased to function correctly. I lost track of how things work.

Of course, the advantage a very powerful supernatural process like this has is it comes with cheat sheets baked into the process. We call this ‘Gnosis’. It is like a higher energy is guiding your exact steps moving forward, warning you and giving you the right advice at the right time. If you are patient and persistent, which you have to be, since you have no other choice, you will learn to drive the ‘car’ at the same time you learn its inner workings. If you choose to oppose that voice, you will suffer, and the process will take longer. So, eventually, you give in and let the energy guide you.

“If you go into a relationship with selfishness, expecting that your partner is going to make you happy, it will not happen. And it's not that person's fault; it's your own. When we go into a relationship of any kind, it is because we want to share, we want to enjoy, we want to have fun, don't want to be bored. If we look for a partner, it is because we want to play, we want to be happy and enjoy what we are. We don't choose a partner just to give that person we claim to love all our garbage, to put all our jealousy, all our anger, all our selfishness onto that person.” - Don Miguel Ruiz, The Mastery of Love

I had a major revelation. For the very first time in my adult life, I understood what having a grown-up relationship meant and how to nurture the self and the other in that relationship without damaging either. By being patient, mature, understanding and by standing up for what made me happy, I learned to co-exist and thrive in a relationship. As much as I would like to blame my past upbringing or the person I was, some of these things, I genuinely felt thankful for certain experiences. You realize that each event, person, and episode is brought into your life to teach you lessons. If you are willing to learn from them, without being judgemental, you will treat each event as an observer, expressing gratitude for having had the opportunity to do so.

Ego, that ever-willing great imposter, is ready to deceive and take you further into unconscious behavior. It's like a great tyrant. If you don’t have the requisite mindset to recognize its doings, you may never learn to take a step back and witness your own thoughts. Changing bad habits comes from learning mindfulness and is very difficult in the beginning. Having the same programming and the same responses to moments of crisis ingrained into you by force of habit, leads to cascades of unconscious behavior. Mindfulness allows you to see the cascade as a choice and your initial response, unconscious, prompted by the actions of others, to be the trigger that sets events in motion, repeatedly, over years, in similar patterns. You are the total of your thoughts that you act upon, creating the indelible patterns of your character that are only obvious when you take a step back and become a witness.

Not reacting, staying silent, holding back and witnessing as an observer, are all powerful catalysts for change. To avail yourself of these techniques regularly, you must stick with the process and allow it to do its work in even the most trying situations. Initially, this is very hard. Invoking these techniques during gaps and lulls, when you still engage in negative behavior and you still have patterns to dissolve, is the best thing you can do for your future wellbeing. Once these methods become routine practice, and the results start to manifest in your life, you begin to wonder why you would behave any other way.

Getting to that stage takes a lot of time and persistence despite failed attempts. It pays to hang in there, with determination and the belief that you have the power— through non-action, witnessing and observation —to change your patterns and stop the long, incessant years of self-sabotage.

This is a powerful thing to know about yourself. ‘The shadow’ that we have accumulated over the years, is nothing but the ego and its mischief being refined into a personality. Certain character traits, driven by the most negative aspects of the ego, resentment, jealousy, anger, the feeling that you deserve better and that life has been unfair, all usually hide the mistaken assumption that one has been harmed by something on the outside. This culminates in the need to assign blame to those people or events and to ensure that you, i.e.,the ego, assumes no blame and comes out looking good. The ego tries to hold on to a fake, non-existent self-image, but facing facts will lead to the collapse of even the most well-constructed mirage. It may hurt. Itmay seem like too much to bear.

Once you learn, however, that not facing pain causes it to accumulate and always get in the way of genuine progress. That is when you start to realize your full potential. It’s called ‘the shadow’ because at every moment when your true self desires to do something incredible, the part of you that has been stung by rejection or failure will create a brainstorm to avoid struggling with those same emotions again.

If you give into those emotions, you’re on the same old path of the past, never attempting anything painful for fear of loss of your self-image. In the process, you never really gain anything worthwhile, thereby losing the immense pleasure and deep sense of satisfaction for having accomplished your goal of release from karmic bondage.

By being brought down a notch or two from your own fake self-image, all you risk is feeling bad. By not realizing you learn a lot more through exercising circuits in your brain that you’ve never used before, you sacrifice a genuine breakthrough as well as the chance at coming out the other end fortified. By facing down the ego, the shadow gets weaker and you get stronger with each passing day. More of who you really are and what you can accomplish becomes obvious.

Sunday, May 23, 2021

Are You Ready for GFM?

Before beginning GFM meditation, you must be ready for it. Your state of readiness is not something I, or any other person, can determine. Only you know if you’re ready; only your body can tell you. And it will, if you learn how to listen to it. Here are some recommendations for determining your state of readiness.

Check Your Symmetry

Q: What’s so important about symmetry?

A: “Symmetry means being the same, or even, on each side. Over the last few years, biologists have looked at the animal kingdom, and they’ve made a few discoveries about symmetry, and how it relates to beauty and fitness.

“First, animals that are more symmetrical are more likely to attract a mate. One scientist found that he could turn attractive male swallows into unattractive male swallows (and also ruin their chances of a good sex life) by clipping their tail feathers with scissors.

“Secondly, symmetry influences fitness. Horses that are more symmetrical run faster than horses that are less symmetrical. In one study, biologists measured some ten features on 73 thoroughbreds—features such as the thickness of the knee, or the width of the nostrils. The differences they could measure were quite small, and probably had nothing directly to do with how fast the horse could run. In fact, symmetry is probably a good indicator of general health and strength. Our imperfect world is full of nasty chemicals and germs. Only those individuals that are lucky enough to inherit a sturdy genetic makeup and are also lucky enough to get good nutrition while they’re growing, will end up being more symmetrical.”

Get the point? Symmetry more or less guarantees unblocked nerve channels and balanced growth.

Q: I’m not symmetrical; what can I do about it?

A: If you’re not symmetrical, something must have happened. After my accident, my symmetrical body became asymmetrical. I gambled, and , my symmetry. Now, I didn’t get up one day and announce, “I’m off to find the Secret Teachings.” I stumbled onto them accidentally. Destiny put me on a course toward my childhood accident and serendipity (a creative form of destiny) put me on the path to discovering and mastering the backward-flowing method. So, however you get there, whether by destiny, fate, happenstance, Karma, or serendipity, if you’re meant to get there, you will. It’s up to you to understand the commitment and make the effort.

Q: How do I check my symmetry?

A: There are various means of checking symmetry:

  • Musical ability, rhythm. The ability to sing notes with proper intonation.
  • Mathematical ability, computer programming.
  • Sports. Especially balancing sports such as skateboarding, target sports, ice-skating, gymnastics, bicycling, tightrope walking, juggling.
  • Kirlian photography.
  • Regular photography, a process you can undertake yourself. Here’s how:

Take a portrait-sized photo of yourself. Scan the negative into your computer, load it into Photoshop, and crop the image until the face is tightly enclosed in the frame. Drop a line down the exact center of your face, cut the image in two, then separate the two sides. Duplicate each side and drag the two left and two right sides together. Flip the duplicate horizontally and nudge until it’s vertically aligned with its corresponding other half. What you have, in each case, are faces composed of two instances of the left side and two instances of the right side, one half merely flipped to complete the image. Here are sample images taken by a couple of Australian teachers. Study each composite image and compare it with the original.

“After much thought an Art teacher at school and I worked out a way to find out. We photographed some of the children and then through a bit of ‘darkroom magic’ manipulated them. You’ll notice that the photos of each child’s face is made up of the original photo.”

~ Adrian Bruce– 

Right/Right                     Left/Left                Original Photo

Some faces are more symmetrical than others

In his empirical wisdom, Gopi Krishna perceived a direct link between symmetry and the qualities leading to success: “Can we deny that whether a fortuitous gift, or the fruit of Karma, in every case there is a close link between the talent or beauty exhibited and the organic structure of the individual.”

Note: Failure to pass any of the tests does not constitute a lack of symmetry or mean that you are not apt to undertake kundalini training. There are other determinants, namely your own resolve and fortitude, but the extent of your symmetry will determine the outcome to some degree. The more symmetrical, in all probability, the more advanced your breathing and lung capacity. Of course, this depends on your physical state, your age, your habits and your libido.

Get Clean!

This means including more raw foods in your diet! You can’t heal on a poor foundation. This was the one issue hindering both Gopi Krishna and myself. So, learn from our mistakes. By the way, even if you decide not to undertake Life Force activation, this step should be a keeper.

Why? Let’s take a closer look at the relationship between a raw foods diet and GFM. What do these two healing instruments have in common? Well, nothing secret or cryptic. In fact, a little common sense reveals that both rely on ingested substances. For a raw foods diet, it’s the food and drink you consume; for GFM, it’s the air you breathe. One, as food and drink, fewer fats, less sugar and less salt; two, elements in the air that your body converts to Prana. I won’t go into the science of nutrition or Prana. There are researched volumes of relevant materials. Let’s just say that both mechanisms use and refine the elements we introduce into our bodies, so it’s up to us to make sure these elements are pure.

Friday, May 7, 2021

How Sexual Sublimation Works

I’ve not posted to this blog or uploaded to my podcast for several months because I’ve been writing a novel for the past year and a half. Writing a novel is more absorbing and time consuming than writing nonfiction. It requires complete concentration. Now that I’m almost finished, because the novel addresses a number of sexual issues, among them sexual sublimation, I’d like to clarify how sexual sublimation worked for me. I’m no sexologist; I’m just offering my personal experience.

Spoiler Alert: Just because this process functioned as it did for me does not mean it will work that way for you. Every kundalini experience is different. That said, let’s begin:

Every person is endowed with unique sexual characteristics that express themselves through the various physical, emotional, and psychological mechanisms that make up their beings. They can be summed up in one word — libido.

Suffice it to say that some people are very sexual in nature; some are not — and everywhere in between. Through my own experience and through conversations with other kundalini adepts, I believe that libido affects a person’s capacity to trigger the sexual sublimation process, which has to have enough sexual energy to do its transformational work.

“Libido is sexual appetite or drive. A person's libido is motivated by brain function, hormones, and learned behavior, regardless of their sex, and tends to fluctuate according to mental state, hormonal shifts, and stress. Some medications can affect sexual appetite as well.

“When a person's libido is high, they're more likely to desire sexual intimacy and to seek it out with a partner or through masturbation. This is healthy and normal, but an overly high libido that interferes with quality of life can be a sign of a hormonal imbalance or neurological disorder. When libido dips, interest in sex does as well and may be completely absent, which can put a strain on intimate relationships.

“The neural pathways involved in sexual desire are similar in males and females and include cerebral, spinal, and peripheral components. Libido directly correlates to physical responses: when sexual desire is high, blood flow to the penis resulting in an erection signifies sexual desire, as does lubrication and enlargement of the labia.”

~ What is Libido?, by S. Nicole Lane -

Moreover, age, physical endowment, emotional stability, eating and drinking and other harmful habits, as well as (believe it or not) pollution can affect sperm and hormone counts.

Here’s how sexual sublimation worked for me. First, the raw material, i.e., my libido and other biological characteristics at the time I started meditating had to be taken into consideration. Would my Being be able to furnish enough sexual energy to complete the process?

“It's not just about the climate, our food supply and energy resources – pollution could be affecting men's penis sizes, fertility and libido too.

“That's according to environmental and reproductive epidemiologist Dr. Shanna H. Swan's new book Count Down: How Our Modern World Is Threatening Sperm Counts, Altering Male and Female Reproductive Development, and Imperiling the Future of the Human Race, which explores the correlation between smaller penises, lower sperm counts and the use of industrial chemicals in everyday products.”

~ Pollution is Shrinking Penises, Scientists Warn -

I was 31 years old, a good age for this work; young enough and not too old. (I know a number of older persons who’ve had trouble sublimating.) Health: good. Habits: I stopped drinking and drugs about that same time; smoking when I was 22 (I wasn’t a heavy smoker). I came up at a time when this country’s air and water supplies were in a lot better shape; polluted resources were not an issue. I’ve had my share of ejaculations, no way of knowing the absolute numbers, only that I started at 13 years old.

The purpose of the meditation I practiced was to distill reproductive fluids into an elixir and then draw this elixir up the spine into the brain. This process began with my practicing the breathing exercises described on the Golden Flower Meditation website. After a while, I started to feel a buildup of what I perceived to be energy in the loins (lower belly region). Again, because I’ve written extensively on this topic, I refer you to the Common Sense Kundalini website for more detail.

As the meditation progressed, I began to feel weaker and weaker after ejaculating. Eventually, I had to stop altogether; the kundalini process was asserting itself. If I wasted “my precious bodily fluids,” I suffered the physical consequences. Gopi Krishna wrote about a similar struggle he'd had.

Sexual energy is the most powerful source of energy in the human body. Normally, this energy is used for reproductive purposes. When prevented from flowing out (during intercourse and masturbation) and redirected to the brain, the seminal fluids in a man and the cervical fluids in a woman are distilled into an elixir and used for evolutionary repurposing. This is the sexual sublimation process. I didn’t know this at the time I began meditating; I just followed the process as it unfolded. There comes a time when kundalini takes over. At his point, you may be in for some surprises. If you long for your former way of life, you might be disappointed.

If I had to come up with reasons why some people succeed in this work and other don’t, I’d maintain that it helps to have a healthy, energetic libido; excellent breathing and lung capacity; the persistence of a detective; excellent lateral thinking and survival skills; and the ability to follow through without becoming discouraged.

As for sex after awakening kundalini, both Gopi Krishna and I discovered that the body needs to be nourished by high quality foods, clean air and water, this being especially critical after intercourse.

Now it’s back to my novel. Keep an eye out for it.