Monday, August 26, 2013

From Madrid to Yellowstone

Something was missing...

I kept recalling my experience with the Light in Madrid at the time I received my healing.

One day I was on a trip to Yellowstone. Before I left, I heard a voice in my mind say, “You are going to have an experience in Yellowstone.” I didn't pay much attention as hearing things is sometimes an actuality, sometimes a fantasy, and after all it really doesn't matter.

There I was in Yellowstone National Park with a group of friends in the car, driving around after a full day of utter wonderment, watching the wild animals and the turquoise swirls of sulfurous water. As we were looking for the exit, I kept repeating to myself, "Now I wish I could see a wolf, I really would like to see a wolf!" The fulfillment of that wish was to be the culmination of an absolutely perfect day.

Call of the Wild
Grey wolf

It was getting dark as we searched for the exit. All of a sudden we were in a cul de sac. The driver stopped the car; we were lost. That's the last thing I remember hearing, "We are lost.” But I couldn’t grasp the meaning of the words because at that moment I felt the whole car, including myself in it, vibrate and shake to and fro, as if we were in an earthquake.

I was holding onto my seat, telling the other people in the car (who, by the way, seemed perfectly calm studying the map) there was an earthquake and what were we going to do about it. Yet the words didn't come out of my mouth and my friends continued to be quite unperturbed which completely baffled me. How could they not realize that the whole car was shaking!

At that point, I saw and felt what I can best describe as a golden pink disk penetrate my third eye, move into my spine and descend all the way to the base of it. My spine throbbed with an extraordinary glowing vibration that generated its own humming energy field. My hands started to vibrate with the most intense energy, so much so it was actually uncomfortable, almost more than I could bear, but I didn't seem to have much control over it. So powerful was this vibrating energy, it made my breathing difficult.

Somewhere in the recess of my thoughts I felt the need to eat, or I would pass out. I managed to mutter "banana, banana" to my friend David who was sitting next to me in the car. By then, he'd realized something was wrong with me; he peeled a banana and put a small piece in my mouth.

I was aware of the texture and taste of it, but never had a banana felt so strange! I couldn't move my hands to eat on my own as this booming brilliant energy was gushing into my palms; it was actually quite disagreeable. I couldn't keep my hands next to the rest of my body either.

Then, as the energy became stronger and stronger, I felt like I was going to burn up and disintegrate or explode perhaps, and as I could barely keep my breath going, I started getting really scared thinking all kinds of superstitious thoughts like extraterrestrials were coming to take me over. I was afraid, but unable to grasp the notion of fear with my mind. It was just there lurking somewhere, my whole being was trying to deal with the earthquake effect happening in my spine and hands.

I have never used drugs or consumed alcohol. I come from an educated background, one that doesn't indulge in silly thoughts or fantasies, one taught to observe and analyze reactions to emotions or events. Yet in this case, analysis or observation, let alone comprehension, flew out the window as the experiencing itself was so intense. Talk about being in the moment, I could not have been in any moment other than the one this energy induced.

We were a group of four in the car. In the front seat ahead of me, was a 20-year-old, named Chris with clairvoyant abilities. Perhaps noticing my behavior, he kept repeating to me, "Go with it. Don't fight the energy, let it flow."

What flow? This thing was way beyond the word energy. I thought I knew what energy was. But this was so intense and incomprehensible and I was so scared, it seemed like my spine contained all the earthquakes that had ever happened on Planet Earth.

Chris kept talking to me to prevent me panicking, leading me through some breathing exercises which I really couldn’t focus on. I could barely listen to his words.

And then all of a sudden, I was spun in a swirl of nothingness, vibrating, glowing spine and hands. All was contained in the most extraordinary sensation of vast dark nothingness including my being nothing. The peace of nothingness made me feel like I was everything, even though the word peace still contained something and the darkness had light in it, too. I sat there in this nothing with everything contained in it. I was conscious of the car and the people in it, waiting for me. The thought crossed my mind that I might be dead, but I didn't care a bit. I was there not wanting to leave this nothing-everything state. It seemed to last an eternity. At the same time, it didn't feel like time at all, as if I was a piece of consciousness hanging inside this nothing-everything and I could just be "It."

Then I heard Chris' voice calling me back, saying, "You have to come back now, you have to come back now." But my little piece of consciousness, this tiny flickering light had no intention of going anywhere, only staying there. But Chris kept calling me back, his voice insisting, finally entering my space of consciousness.

He asked me to look at my body in my mind's eye. I still couldn’t speak and I had no intention of coming back to whatever there was to come back to. But Chris kept insisting, COME BACK NOW, so I peeked at the possibility that I had a body and all of a sudden I was back in the car with the people around me and my hands vibrating at full speed and I was not pleased at all to be back there.

It was completely dark by then. The driver started the car. Someone offered me another piece of banana. As I heard the engine starting I managed to mutter, “But I still want to see a wolf, I really would like to see a wolf."

Why would I want to see a wolf after all this? Especially as the energy was still streaming through my spine and hands, but with less discomfort now.

Five minutes into the drive with the sky ink dark and an amazing luminescent moon above us, shedding light on the road, the driver stopped the car suddenly. A majestic lone, yet very skinny silver wolf, came out of the shadows of the dark trees and approached us. He kept himself a short distance from the car, but he stared me straight in the eyes. The passengers in the car waited and watched, holding their breath, watching the wolf staring me in the eyes. I couldn't think, I could barely breathe, I couldn't move my hands as they were vibrating so intensely. A timeless moment between us...I was completely lost in the golden hue of his wild eyes.

In those eyes my consciousness was his consciousness, my spirit, his spirit, we were one and inseparable, and all the rest was void. Then the wolf moved around the car and came to the window where I was sitting and looked straight at me. I felt a tinge of fear as a thousand ancestral stories of wolves rose up to my consciousness. The second the fear came to the surface, I sensed that he knew my fear and he immediately moved back to his original place and the looking into each other’s eye continued.

According to my friend David, this lasted twenty minutes (I had no sense of time) until a car came up behind us and our driver went on forward so the wolf would not get hurt.

There are very few wolves left in Yellowstone and it is very hard to see one. Wolves rarely walk alone. One isn't supposed to look at wild animals in the eyes.

The energy stayed with me two days, I couldn't undress by myself or hold a tooth brush on my own that night. In fact, I couldn't touch anything as I had the clear sense that if I did, it would burn up...

Then, after two days, it receded and I was able to resume normal activity, but I was shaken to the core of my being.

What was THIS?

It came back a few days later and since then has taken on many other forms and has completely changed my life.


  1. That was an intense story. I can only imagine how you must have felt. It kind of reminds me of the first few days after my awakening. The sense of disorientation and how overwhelmed I felt. Awesome post !

  2. Amazing! what a powerful experience. Thank you for sharing.

  3. I was gripped and moved by this story. The way the energy was the portal for you into the moment was exactly the same as it was for me. There was only NOW and it was utterly absorbing excluding everyone and everything else. Thank you so much for sharing it

  4. It seems like an arising and passing away experience which is quite a mystical opening. Here is some information in case you want to learn more:


    1. Dear Vivek, Margaret, metaphysical MD and Constance
      I'm answering to all of you in a go as I missed the comments but its to each one indivudually too!
      Thank you so much for your kindness and support and feedback
      I am most enchanted to be part of an awesome group! I love your posts,they certainly keep me inspired and in awe
      With love

    2. Dear Constance
      this link is amazing... thank you so much, I'll look at it properly this evening... glad for the feedback feels less weird and lonely!

  5. Don't feel lonely. It is safe for you to embrace your experience.