Sunday, April 12, 2015

Kundalini and Promiscuity

Why is sexual loyalty difficult and why does promiscuity cause so much heartache, even in a permissive society? Kundalini can heighten sexual suffering, but Kundalini may also provide the healing.

Shiva and Shakti -- the divine feminine and masculine within - Teri Degler
Siva and Shakti

Queen Maeve, the powerful and sexy lady of the Mabognogion, says: "I never had a man, but that another man stood waiting in his shadow." The statement can be reversed, and spoken by the majority of men: "I never had a woman, but that another woman stood waiting in her shadow." Who is the man or woman waiting in the shadow of the person you're with, even when you are enjoying sex? I don't think Jungian theories about the animus and anima are much use in addressing this question. It has nothing to do with fantasy. These potential lovers waiting in the shadow of our partners aren't mere psychological constructs. They're real people. They're out there — on trains, on sidewalks, at work, in bars, at parties. If you live in the city you come into contact with dozens of them every day. If you retreat to the country, your senses, refined by nature, can feel them in the sunlight and in the rustle of forest leaves.
When Kundalini awakens, the promiscuous drive can become disastrously urgent, as energy floods the body and brain. There's a danger of sexual addiction and nymphomania (as described in Peggy Payne's novel, Cobalt Blue.) We can become trapped by "sex in the head." The brain chakra opens, without manas, the restless mind, being absorbed into a deeper consciousness (bodhi.) The heart chakra gets forgotten. The throat chakra is bypassed. Kundalini is sidetracked into the pingala nadi, the fiery channel of outward turning energy. We behave compulsively, thinking that serial sex with casual partners will bring us closer to reality than monogamy can ever do.

When Kundalini energy floods the brain during sexual intercourse, a neural valve, which normally opens and closes, regulating consciousness, becomes stuck, and remains held, in the open position. There's a massive influx of energized consciousness. It's the shutting of this valve, a neural recoil, which, under normal circumstances, initiates orgasm. Kundalini, when it rises up the central channel (susumna), suspends orgasm. The effect on relationship, when this occurs mutually, is radical. We pass into a state of being that is more real than the physical body alone. Our bodies, mine and hers, are experienced as what they really are — the dense extrusion of cosmic forces, the physical precipitates of a deeper consciousness that is more touchable than skin, and more forceful than the beating of the heart. There is a fusion of our subtle bodies at the base of the spine. When this occurs, the problem of promiscuity is solved by being left in the air. It's not that there is a reason to remain faithful. There isn't. It's not that we choose to behave ethically. Sex overpowers morality. It's not even a matter of our preference for our partner's personality and beauty. There are a million other beautiful personalities and lovely faces. It's not a question of losing our partner if we cheat. It's simply that this fusion of the subtle bodies is realer than our everyday state of restless serial experiences. This influx of energized consciousness is reality.

There's a pair of mantras in the Tantric teaching: So'ham. ("I am He.") And Sa'ham. ("I am She.") "He", meaning Siva, the original stillness. And "She", meaning Shakti, the Creative Force that responds to Stillness. When, in the act of love, Kundalini takes us into these states, our loved one casts no shadow. There is no one else.


  1. I was delighted to find my Cobalt Blue here. I love your description of the fusion of subtle bodies. Thank you for addressing this sometimes-controversial subject.

    1. I agree. This post does a great job of situating the Cobalt Blue narrative in the greater cosmology that is Kundalini and Consciousness, its biology and its metaphysical aspects.