Tuesday, January 8, 2013

The 'I' and 'Me' revealed by Kundalini

I'm currently doing a seminar about living a life that defies the predictable and I learned the story of Colin Wilson, a British philosopher and writer. When he was young, he dreamed about becoming the next Albert Einstein, but at the age of 16 his family fell on hard times and he had to leave school and go to work. He was so unhappy he decided to kill himself.

He took a bottle of hydrochloric acid and was just about to drink it, when he had two insights. The first was that there were two Colin Wilson's within him:
  • The first was the idiotic teenager, self-pitying boy who he called his 'idiot' and then there was the other Colin Wilson who wanted to make a difference in the world by becoming the next Einstein.
  • His second insight was that the 'idiot' was going to kill them both. (Acknowledgments to Landmark Education for this information.)

Since awakening Kundalini I have been more aware of the idiot or what I call 'me.' This is the part of me that wants to survive, look good, play it safe and then there is the other which I call 'I' which wants to share, contribute, make a difference.

At every moment I get to choose which one I am going to be. Both are there because the 'me' was created by language (acculturation programming that begins the day we are born) and is designed for survival, but the 'I' was there before 'me'. Out of  'I' we build 'me'. When Kundalini rises, it changes the mind and body by working directly on the nervous system to strengthen and balance. But it also expands consciousness so that spiritual writings resonate much more deeply than before Kundalini rose. Kundalini shifts the consciousness  from 'me' back to 'I' where it initially came from. Now I find when I meditate that I watch 'me' from the place of 'I'. This is difficult to explain and I don't want to give the idea of a split personality, this is very much internal phenomena that  doesn't affect interactions with people or with the world.

This realization profoundly affected Eckhart Tolle, who wrote in the Power of Now of the moment after he had spent many years suffering from depression when he said to himself, "I cannot live with myself any longer." Suddenly he was struck by the two Eckhart's within him. 'I' and 'myself' and he asked "who is me, and who is myself?" This insight shocked him into realization and has resulted in him being a world famous spiritual teacher. He says after this "he felt himself being drawn up into a vast vortex of energy" which I assert must have been Kundalini.  It was the combination of insight and energy which shifted his consciousness permanently into the place where he is who he is today.

1 comment:

  1. Some ideas never die. Thankfully, they are only reformulated for contemporary audiences.

    Your post is an excellent summary of the premise and content of The Secret of the Golden Flower, which calls the 'me,' the Conscious Spirit and the 'I,' the Primal Spirit.

    At the moment of conception, the formative energy of the Primal Spirit invests the new organism with our spirit essence that helps shape it into our new selected bodily form (props to: The Tibetan Book of the Dead) before then "going into retirement" at which point, the Conscious Spirit takes over.

    Its role is to process incoming data from the five senses, or to manage the process of acculturation, which, by and large, is a process of subordinating our Beings to the senses. Want this, copy that, repeat this, acknowledge that!

    The Primal Spirit is still there, dormant, waiting to be summoned — all but helpless until summoned. It's like a warranty you don't know you have. You can use it at any moment. But NOT knowing it's there is really tantamount to its NOT BEING there. Hence LIFE's great quest. The discovery of and reuniting with the Primal Spirit, or the I.

    Most of us get so carried away with life that we never discover the presence of the Primal Spirit, much less avail ourselves of it.

    We may even be unhappy with our lives, want to change them. Violent emotions, selfish habits, negative outlook, addictions, aggressive personalities, faulty mental processes may have us on the ropes.

    But instead of looking inside, we look outside. We try organized religion, we get 'educated,' we sample the tempting distractions life spreads out before us. The NFL, MLB, the Kentucky Derby, Vegas, a European vacation, a cruise, a retreat, a summer home. There must be something out there to alleviate our pain. Spirituality? Cultism? Why not?

    However, not by prayer, not by good works, not by psychology, education, philosophy, law, medicine, science, politics, or joining a cult is human nature changed.

    To change human nature, we must change our consciousness, and that means awakening Kundalini, be it by one of the many ways Vivek, Tom Kinney, Colin Wilson, you, I or Eckhart Tolle awakened it.

    We must somehow awaken the I. Thanks to the contributors to this blog for sharing their stories on how they got back to the 'I.'